Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize