I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
