I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
