just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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