so that wasnt chicken after all
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Say something about gay babies.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
