In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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