Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize