Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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