Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
