I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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