Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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