I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We named our party play list daddy issues
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
