____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I AM VODKA MAN
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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