I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
