i just made my gag reflex go away.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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