You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
