You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
