Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
