I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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