he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
