ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
This house was built for laser tag.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
