Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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