yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
