the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
