dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
