I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
