Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
