my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
