Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
