In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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