I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize