Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
