I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
there's paper in my vomit.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize