Got a toothbrush?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
