It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
