I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
