Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
