Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize