So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
