a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
