I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
