Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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