I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
