so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
