i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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