So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
