do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
