Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
this hospital has no fireball
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
