I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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