I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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