Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
