We're facebook friends in real life
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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