Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
