I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
