she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
