As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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