So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
