no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
