you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
