it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
